Commandment 11 – Classified

What if when Moses received the ten commandments there was also another one, an 11th commandment. A classified commandment just like RoboCop has.

1. Serve the public trust
2. Protect the innocent
3. Uphold the law
4. Classified

What would you want the 11th commandment to be? I think I would like it to say:

11. Be excellent to each other.

Maybe you can think of something better.

WWJE

You can see my picture, and you’ve seen me on TV. You know I’m a big guy, and big guys like their food.

If you don’t know it, then you haven’t been reading my blog for very long, but I like Jesus. I also like to think WWJE. What would Jesus eat?

Now I’ve been to a lot of so called Christian restaurants in my time, but they always seem to fall short in what I think a true disciple wants in a religious eating experience. I’ve travelled all over the world trying to find the right restaurant to feed both my physical and spiritual needs. I’ve tried Floyd’s Christian Restaurant in Corpus Christi, Texas. I’ve tried Christian Bros Restaurant in Toronto. I’ve even gone as far as Christian Bar and Restaurant in the Dominican Republic.

I believe that my travelling days are over!

This place may sell chicken for $450 – which is a little bit on the expensive side, but I think I can forgive them because that are giving away copies of the Good Book with every meal.

Bibles and Chicken. Now that’s what Jesus would eat.

Shout it out loud

You know how much I love music and that I think Bloodgood is the greatest band of all time, but I have something to show you. Something that may blow your mind!

Have you ever noticed that just like a certain Clark Kent, Amy Winehouse and Paul Stanley are never in the same room together!

I think I have uncovered the biggest secret in rock history. Check this out…

What is going on people? Just like Superman, the disguise isn’t even all that good. All Paul Stanley does is change his clothes to move from one personna to the other. In most photos there is still half rubbed off Kiss makeup all over his face!

Still don’t belive me? Let the facts speak for themselves.

Christian’s Rock

I read the other day something that disturbed me. Something that I had never thought of before, but something that is so true that it hurts. I’m talking about the current state of Christian Rock. It has been said that Christian rock doesn’t make Christianity any better, it just makes rock and roll worse.

The mid 90’s are thought by many to be the golden era of Christian Rock. You all know that my favourite band is Bloodgood and since 1993’s ‘To Germany with Love’ release, even they haven’t been able to rock the cross as mightily as they used to. Has the genre dried up? Is there another ode to Jesus that is still out there waiting to be written? Are there any more ways to say how cool God is without just repeating yourself? I think there is!

Not since Bon Jovi’s christian anthem ‘Living on a Prayer’ have I been so excited to hear Aric Harding and Likeminds new album. I can only hope that it comes with a parental advisory sticker that says ‘Warning: Contains rocking gospel’, also it should be at least 45 minutes long and have a cool cover.

Another release that I am looking forward to is Corpus Christii’s new album ‘Rising’. Someone told me that their music is very similar to Among Thorns. I haven’t been able to find any of their albums for sale anywhere and they aren’t even on christianrock.com, but they have a teaser on their website  www.corpuschristii.com that makes it even more exciting. An undiscovered gem? I hope so!

Who’s Awesome? Jesus of Nazareth PA, that’s who!

Hi y’all. I know it’s been six months since I last put finger to keyboard, but I have been having so many problems since my death was wrongly reported in 2005.

Even with my problems, I’ve still been keeping up with my research on Jesus and his life and teachings. You all remember that I’m one of his biggest fans, probably THE biggest if you’ve seen my picture lately.

On one of my regular Jesus research missions, I came across a site called Holy Taco. I haven’t spent much time on the site, but I think they really know where Jusus comes from, and can maybe teach you a thing or two that you might not have known about your star pin-up.

First of all, I think you all know that Jesus Rocks! I didn’t know where that saying came from, but it’s not just a bumper sticker that you have on your car, no siree, Holy Taco have managed to find actual bible pictures of Jesus rocking out. I don’t know where they got them, I’m probably not meant to know, but here it is…

His ripping such a bad ass solo that he has started bleeding from the eyes. Now that’s a freeking deity.

Another thing that I didn’t know about Jesus is that he was so into sports. I think that this is what gives him his ‘Everyman’ flavour and shows that we can all be like Jesus if we wanted to. It also again show us the history of another popular saying ‘Jesus Saves’

There are many more examples of Jesus being awesome. Check them out…

http://www.holytaco.com/awesome-versions-jesus

I think that I can sum them all up with just one picture.

6 points to JC!

I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more Jesus!

I used to love books about Jesus when I was a boy.  This one is my favourite, it’s about easter:

Did anyone else read it?  It’s a shame they didnt have books in prehistoric days when Jesus was a boy.  I think he would have really liked this one.

Maybe i’ll show it to him when he comes back.  Can’t wait for that day!  Who’s with me?

Big Kev’s Guide to dressing – Bible style

Once a week when I leave the house, I always have some golden rules how a lady should dress. Each Sunday when I leave for church I often see women on the bus parading around like they are Jezebel herself and I think it is time for a radical change.

Before you leave the house I think all women should do a modesty check.

From the top…

When you are wearing a loose-fitting blouse or scoop-neck, can Big Kev see anything when you lean over? If not, lean further.

If you are wearing a button-down top, I need to turn sideways and move around to see if there are any gaping holes that expose your chest. If there are, good work.

The same check is needed if you are wearing a sleeveless shirt. When I move around, can I see your bra? If I do, praise the lord.

Are you wearing a spaghetti-strap, halter, or sheer blouse? Not even pins will fix this problem!

Can I see the lace or seam of your bra through your shirt? If not, open a few buttons.

Does my shirt reveal any part of your cleavage? Does your midriff show when you raise your hands above your head? Is your shirt just plain too tight? If the answer to any one of these questions is yes, then I love it!

That funny guy, Jesus.

I read this today

“Jesus has a wicked sense of humour.”

I think this is so true. Sometimes I can be sitting on my own and I will just think of the funniest damned ideas I have ever heard. Now, I don’t know exactly where these ideas come from but I think it can only come from one place. Jesus.

Jesus is the goddamned funnyest guy since Jerry freakin’ Seinfeld last saw that jerk Newman. I mean, who comes up with these funny ideas in my head time after time? You? The guy on the corner selling magazines? No way bucko. Jesus H. Christ that’s who.

He even has a great stage name for a comic. If you have an initial as part of your name then you are on the road to awesomeness. Check out Michael J. Fox for Christs sake. If he’s not funny then you must be a mormon or something.

I’m not so excited anymore.

I’m excited about church again

As you know, I read a lot of blogs and one post I read today has got me all excited.

There is a church that I drive past most days and they often have intersting signs out front to get people to come to the service. Believe me, once you go to one you won’t want to miss another. Tammi Mallory must go to the same church becuase she has made a post saying how much she likes the unusual signs they use.

I mentioned this to the church and today I see that they have invited Tammi to come over to the church this Sunday. I can’t wait. I took a photo to show you the new sign.